Plastic Straw Poll

I just now “got the joke” about them wild and crazy elephant bones.

I have been trashing weezer non-stop for two months with utter disgust. But in the end they wore me down and I bought Africa on iTunes.

I introduced the boys to Spaceballs. They laughed the whole way through. For me it’s the best Mel Brooks movie, but I was also the right age for this one when it came out, so it could be nostalgia talking. John Candy is great as always but Rick Moranis really steals the show. He is so good. Think back on all of his great roles such as Ghostbusters. No one on earth can do what he does. My favorite scene is either the one where Michael Winslow’s voice still sounds like he’s talking through a distorted PA system or the scene where the grizzly bear tiptoes through the catwalk so no one notices he is taking the last escape pod. . . . ooh ooh or the scene where the droid’s stunt double shrugs in annoyance but the actor does it in such a perfectly non-droid-like manner.

Sinbad is only two years younger than Scott Bakula yet at age 35 he was supposed to be a believable college football player in Necessary Roughness. That’s not even a believable age for an NFL player.

. . . unless you’ve sold your soul to the devil in order to prolong your mediocre career in order to make people think you are the GOAT.

Finally I know it when I misspell dessert because ios shows me a picture of a camel.

I’m just now realizing that I am the same age as Scott Bakula when he starred in Necessary Roughness #FeelingOld

Speaking of old… Tom Cruise just did the cliché “dangle from helicopter skids” bit, as we all know. But did you know that he is one year older than Wilford Brimly when he starred in Cocoon.

Just as a reminder, the plot of Cocoon was that the main characters are so old they will die any minute.

Oh Thank Heaven

In Black Panther when they ask the audience if there are any challengers, I kept waiting for Tommy Davidson from Ace Ventura 2 to arrive inside’s someone’s backpack. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.

Every time I watch the fugitive, I wonder how the main character got that scar on his chin.

Yes I was slain for the good of the universe by you know who.

The guy they picked to play Freddie Mercury looks more like Freddie Mercury than Freddie Mercury.

Jonah was asking me why Stairway to Heaven was so popular and I told him because the song really takes its time getting to the good part, sort of leaving you on the edge of your seat in anticipation. Then he replied, “Oh, sort of like the principle of cinematography first popularized by Stephen Spielberg whereby you increase the tension and suspense by never ‘showing them the shark’.” …. While the kid’s got a lot to learn and he wasn’t entirely correct in his analysis, I was never so proud.

The tom cruise running montage YouTube video is 18 minutes long.

I don’t lick 9-volt batteries because I don’t want to get the germs from the previous person that licked it.

Since we may not ever get a Friday Part 13, let’s go ahead and crown “Never Hike Alone” as the best in the 13-Volume franchise. Seriously, it’s good guys, check it out. It’s free. . . .Why are your still here?

Let's Play Some Basketball

Haha. I was just remembering when we used to climb the rope in gym class. There we were suspended 30’ above the hardwood, Mr. Turner would place a quarter inch thick pad on the floor to “save” a kid if they ever fell. The pad was four feet wide at the most. I can picture Mr. Turner at the court proceedings: “I put padding down, what else do you people want from me!”.

Cloverfield 3 was the bomb. Can’t wait for part 4 this summer. I heard the English gal from Orient Express is going to be in part 5. #LastJedi

#IHadADream one night a few weeks ago. It was so horrible I can’t bear reliving the details. I was so glad when I woke from it. It just so happened that the nightmare was on the same night of the Alex Smith trade. When I saw the bad news on sportscenter in the morning I was wishing I was back in the dream. #RedHumpday

I was downloading a 17 megabyte file and I remarked about how I was fortunate that “it was a small file so I wouldn’t have to wait long” . . . so that made me recall a classic leedog story from high school which I was going to add as an item in this week’s newsletter but then I realized it was such a funny story, I probably already told it in a previous weekly. So I went to the archives and found it. Three years ago. Click the link for the whole issue, it was a good one. Enjoy.
http://humpdayhoopla.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-better-get-hoverboard.html?spref=bl

Do you remember when you’d tune in to one of your favorite shows like say MacGyver, and you were all excited for a full new episode but something would happen at the beginning of the episode that would make MacGyver remember a previous episode then they’d jump cut to a clip and about 5 seconds into the clip your all like “aw man it’s one of THESE episodes”. Despicable.

So I bought this peanut butter that only has one ingredient “Peanuts”. I took the first bite and I couldn’t believe it. It doesn’t taste like peanut butter, it tastes exactly like peanuts! There should be a warning on the label. Despicable.

I saw the killer from the Movie “Urban Legends” walking down the street yesterday.

Seriously, produce some new content MacGyver! We’re only talking once a week. Geesh.

Stew Year’s Resolution: I’m only listening to pod casts that suck. Now I can listen at work and not worry about being distracted by the content of the pod cast. Just yesterday I found a really terrible one, it’s great!

Weekly

Thanks for putting the the name of that author into context Mr. trailer maker guy.

I discovered a new show on Netflix called The Walking Dead. It’s great. I recommend it.

I watch the teaser trailer for Ready Player One once a day. I notice something new each time.

I love vintage stock

Are they out of their mind?

I need to wait at least another couple of months before I start drinking the new coke zero sugar from the fountain. I have no way of knowing if it’s actually the new formula or they’re still finishing off their stock of the old formula. I just can’t risk it.

I love avocados because I can pretend I’m a raptor eating raptor eggs . . . whatever keeps me from eating people, am I right?

If I can’t have Friday the 13^th part 13, then I’ll gladly take H40! I believe it’s pronounced H-4-Oh.

I ear what you're saying

I want to travel to Vienna someday, just to have an excuse to host a vacation slideshow party where I serve Vienna Sausages and Vienna Fingers. I can’t think of a better time.

Jonah and I were watching football and some commercial went by featuring Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. I told Jonah that when I was in high school that song played about 10 times in every prom across the country. He sounded intrigued so I queued up the music video on you tube. Within seconds he was horrified. All I could do was shrug and say “It was the 90’s”.

Happy birthday Angela Lansbury. I’m glad you’re not dead yet.

#FirstWorldVictories #FWV

CC10F

For twenty years I had thought it was the Miami Dolphins that made him cry but I just realized that maybe it was the actual dolphins(as in an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and serrated dorsal appendage) that make him cry . . . I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Never Been Kissed is now an A&E reality show filmed in Topeka. Not since Steve Guttenburg’s masterpiece, The Day After has Kansas been put so on the map. Way to go goots (30 years late props is better than never).

#CountdownTo2012 2017 . . . that is 9.23.2017 . . . goodbye everybody!

You know when you find a half-full, month-old sippy cup of milk under the couch? I think that must have been the inspiration for the new Chipotle queso. Way to go!

Let’s bring back the #NoChampagne hashtag. I don’t care if Marvin Berry’s cousin Eric is out for the season.

This is the ghost that is said to reside in the Curtis House . . . this is literally four houses down from our office. 

That thought will keep me company next time I’m working late all by myself.

Speaking of Charles Curtis . . . The chap sure looks darn familiar.

I got it! He was reincarnated as the “Jump to Conclusions Board Game” guy.

That thought will keep me company next time I’m working late all by myself.

Outdated Generally Horton

Your looking at the world record holder in Back to the Future on the Nintendo Entertainment System . . . and it’s not even close. Please click on the link so we can drive up traffic for the google algorithms. I like the idea of someone in Beijing searching “back to the future” and having me pop up. http://rec.st/n7f

I bought at powerball ticket and was carded. I’m literally twice the required age!!! Second greatest fist pump of my life. (See item above for single greatest fist pump of my life).

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think “Zero Sugar” is actually better than “Zero”. They got one right this time . . . I think. I could be suffering from Phantom Menace Syndrome though.

When I told Lara I was the world record holder in Back to the Future she replied “Wow, that’s awesome!”. And if only they had a world record for greatest magnitude of sarcasm in one sentence, then the Stewart family would have two world record holders.

I got Life from the library. It was Alien without the suspense. Gravity without the space realism (and surrealism). And Mission to Mars without frozen Tim Robins. But I knew going in that at least I’d get to keep my eyes fixed on Jake Gylenhunk for 2 hours. All in all it was 10 times better than I expected. I give it a 2.5/10.

Speaking of bttf, I showed the kids the tril this weekend. They loved it, but now here come all the time travel plot hole questions. Like “how come he only went back 10 minutes early? Why not 10 days early?” or the classic “What are the odds the same sperm fertilized the same egg three times in a row?” . . . Fun explaining that one to a 5-year-old.

Speaking of introducing the kids to great cinema. Jonah and I watched Unbreakable this weekend too. I’m not sure if I ever realized that Samuel L’s introduction gives away the big spoiler . . . or at least hints at it. Awesome! I can’t wait for Unbreakable 2 as part of the new shamaverse.

I didn’t realize there was a genre of space ship/drunk crop duster pilot movies but I’d have to say that “The Space Between” is easily the 2^nd best movie of all time in that particular sub-genre.

Hey look Leedog and Adam. They did a DWM!!!

Why haven’t I heard of this movie? From the cover, it’s clearly a hilarious romp starring Eddie Griffin.

In honor of Em’s birthday, Jonah and I watched 6^th Sense. I’d forgotten how great it was. I told Jonah it was the best twist ever, even better than Planet or Psycho. Then he spent the rest of the weekend begging me to tell him the twist in Psycho. But I stood my ground. That level of spoiler would be grounds for child abuse. #mnightshamalamadingdong

I bought this for one reason and one reason only . . . it was 5 dollars.

#countdownto2012 Facebook robots invent secret verbal language that only they know.

Isaiah asked me if Murdoc is in season 1 of MacGyver. I quickly said no. He calmly said, “you are correct”. He was testing me. I’ve never been so proud.

In the words of Will Smith: “I have got to get me one of these”

#TeeOfTheWeek

And finally . . .

One more for good measure. In honor of TW . . .

https://youtu.be/E9ayrT_DT6o