Rain, sleet, and snow? Humpday’s got time for dat.
Got Smiths? One Smith down, one to go.
After guests complained of funny tasting water at an L.A. hotel, the police found a body that had been decomposing in the roof tank for two weeks. Officials say not to worry, that the corpse water was not harmful.
Flashback to 1988: My dad always called his rubber boots his “rubbers”.
Did you hear about the gal who was cooking waffles in the oven and some handgun ammunition that was left in the oven by her roomate exploded and shot her. Yes, you heard that correctly, she was cooking waffles in the oven.
Did you hear about the strange stuff that Jesse Jackson Jr. bought with the stolen money? (mostly Michael Jackson’s fedoras). It’s like that scene in Airheads where they request a bunch of weird stuff, so they can plead insanity later.
Topeka got the 6th most snow in a day ever, with 10”
Academy award winner: Jennifer Lawrence! There goes my chances.
The human genome has faster 40 time than Cam Neutron, and same time as Kappernick and Russel.
Cow: “Drivers and Danica start your engines” – Lub
Cow: “We’re not saying that Iowa State should have won, we’re just saying that 2 of the 3 refs will never work in this business again” – Lub
Somebody forgot the first rule of fight club