12.17

 Dapper

Hoopla-Follow-up:  Kate Hudson was 32 last week when Jennifer Garner turned 40.

 

Got Gronk?  K-State does!!!

 

Did you hear the tasteful and appropriate jokes that the Mayor made during his State-of-the-City Speech?  He made a joke about an “Indian girl” who when dancing on a date with a certain county commissioner and made it rain.  A hooker joke about the same county commissioner’s prom date.  A fun poke at Dyslexics:  D.A.M.  Mother’s Against Dyslexia.  And finally a good old fashioned Irish Joke, because well, why not.

 

Did you hear about the Chinese company that now makes a line of Helen Keller Sunglasses?  I guess they were tired of the Mayor hogging all of the headlines.

 

The Saints have been using hidden microphones to spy on visiting teams’ coaches…for 3 years!

 

New Zealand Government is considering raising the price of cigarettes to $100 a pack, in order to phase out all smoking by 2025.

 

Give me Kirk Cousins in the 2^nd.    

 

The Lakers left “the land of 10,000 lakes” for the palm trees and botox, so why not the Vikes?

 

iPhone-5 will have a case made out of “Liquid Metal”.  It’s a new space-age material that is 20 times stronger than the current case.  Has anyone padded their portfolio with “Sky-Net” stock yet?  Don’t wait until it’s too late, LOL.    I love end of the world jokes about death and destruction.

12.16

 That's a dog

I was walking past the 3 Lb. Chocolate Bunny at Walgreens and I remembered when each of the Seaver kids got $5,000 from the grandparents.  Mike Bought a car.  Carol put it in savings.  And Ben went on a shopping spree with 25 of his closest friends.  I think him and his posse was walking down the street; him with a brand new members-only jacket and someone behind him carrying a 5 foot tall chocolate Easter Bunny.

 

Holy Cow, Jennifer Garner is 40.  (That’s not a miss-print, that is in fact Jennifer and not James)

 

The 100^th anniversary of the mythical Titanic crash has caused quite a twitter stir, leaving may youths inquiring as to whether the work of fiction was an actual historical event.   I suppose the terminator was real too.  Dummies.

 

We did it….we traded in the lemon for a Toyota.   And as long as a Stewart walks this planet, no family of mine will ever be stepping foot in John Hoffer Chrysler, or any other Chrysler dealer.   Let em Fail!!!

 

I just watched “Driving Miss Daisy”.  Pretty good movie, but I was hoping for more controversy from a Jessica Tandy shocker film.  It did not quite have the level of surprise ending as “Fried Green Tomatoes”, when Tandy’s character murders the bad guy, boils him, barbeques him, and finally serves him  to the detective who is investigating the horrific murder.

 

How about this Kansas weather?  You know you’re from Kansas if……One week you are applying Vaseline man lotion to your bloody, cracked, chapped hands, then only one week later, the humidity has you at Walgreens at 3:00 AM buying economy sized jumbo tube of Tinactin Jock-itch cream.  (note:  most years it’s June before I have to make that trip)

 

Did you hear that UCLA accidently sent acceptance letters to almost 1000 high school seniors on the waiting list?  Oops, sorry kids, get better SAT scores next time.

 

I just realized that the next Friday the 13^th movie will be part 13!!!

 

Monster Squad turns 25.  I recently re-watched this (with the kids) and there is no way this movie would be in theaters in 2012 without an NC-17 rating.

12.15

 

WTH

Basketball was introduced in the 1936 Olympics.  The ‘36 dream team crushed Team Canada in the finals, 19-8.  The team was the McPherson Oil Company’s basketball team.   It’s Kansas’s version of the Green Bay Packers.

 

Speaking of Kansas, the Amelia Earheart mystery is about to turn 75.  She was Elvis before Elvis even picked up a guitar.

 

Chrysler told me that I don’t need to worry about the check engine light.  “It’s just a software glitch”.  I think it’s time for a Toyota….and a Detroit bankruptcy.

 

Mitts it.

 

Now that Lent is over, for my first cup of coffee, I want the right time, the right place….it’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s coffee.  Who’s up for a man-date to American Reunion.

 

Madonna:  Biggest second week drop in chart history.

 

I had my first “Jiffy Pop” during “Dragon Tattoo”.   While cooking, I was pretty sure that I had about a 50-50 chance that it was going to explode into my face, and Freddy Kruger-Mellancamp my ass.

12.14

 Helpful Hint

Bruce Weber finished better than Penn State and Nebraska in the final big 10 standings!  (Nebraska has had 40 consecutive sellout seasons, while Penn State has won, I believe 2 national championships!)

 

The full trailer for “Total Recall” just came out on Sunday.  I’d like to say it looks good, but it almost looks too much like the original classic.  Not really what I’m looking for in a remake.

 

The check engine light came on in the lemon last night.  They will probably refuse to fix it again, so much for the so called lifetime warranty.  Chrysler can make a good commercial, but that’s it.

 

You could have bought each of the 176 million possible mega millions tickets and guaranteed that you won the 640 million.  However it would take 28 years to fill out each of the tickets.