Wednesday, December 6, 2017


Thanks for putting the the name of that author into context Mr. trailer maker guy.

I discovered a new show on Netflix called The Walking Dead. It’s great. I recommend it.

I watch the teaser trailer for Ready Player One once a day. I notice something new each time.

I love vintage stock

Are they out of their mind?

I need to wait at least another couple of months before I start drinking the new coke zero sugar from the fountain. I have no way of knowing if it’s actually the new formula or they’re still finishing off their stock of the old formula. I just can’t risk it.

I love avocados because I can pretend I’m a raptor eating raptor eggs . . . whatever keeps me from eating people, am I right?

If I can’t have Friday the 13th part 13, then I’ll gladly take H40! I believe it’s pronounced H-4-Oh.

I ear what you're saying

I want to travel to Vienna someday, just to have an excuse to host a vacation slideshow party where I serve Vienna Sausages and Vienna Fingers. I can’t think of a better time.

Jonah and I were watching football and some commercial went by featuring Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. I told Jonah that when I was in high school that song played about 10 times in every prom across the country. He sounded intrigued so I queued up the music video on you tube. Within seconds he was horrified. All I could do was shrug and say “It was the 90’s”.

Happy birthday Angela Lansbury. I’m glad you’re not dead yet.

#FirstWorldVictories #FWV

Wednesday, September 20, 2017


For twenty years I had thought it was the Miami Dolphins that made him cry but I just realized that maybe it was the actual dolphins(as in an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and serrated dorsal appendage) that make him cry . . . I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Never Been Kissed is now an A&E reality show filmed in Topeka. Not since Steve Guttenburg’s masterpiece, The Day After has Kansas been put so on the map. Way to go goots (30 years late props is better than never).

#CountdownTo2012 2017 . . . that is 9.23.2017 . . . goodbye everybody!

You know when you find a half-full, month-old sippy cup of milk under the couch? I think that must have been the inspiration for the new Chipotle queso. Way to go!

Let’s bring back the #NoChampagne hashtag. I don’t care if Marvin Berry’s cousin Eric is out for the season.

This is the ghost that is said to reside in the Curtis House . . . this is literally four houses down from our office. 

That thought will keep me company next time I’m working late all by myself.

Speaking of Charles Curtis . . . The chap sure looks darn familiar.

I got it! He was reincarnated as the “Jump to Conclusions Board Game” guy.

That thought will keep me company next time I’m working late all by myself.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Outdated Generally Horton

Your looking at the world record holder in Back to the Future on the Nintendo Entertainment System . . . and it’s not even close. Please click on the link so we can drive up traffic for the google algorithms. I like the idea of someone in Beijing searching “back to the future” and having me pop up.

I bought at powerball ticket and was carded. I’m literally twice the required age!!! Second greatest fist pump of my life. (See item above for single greatest fist pump of my life).

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think “Zero Sugar” is actually better than “Zero”. They got one right this time . . . I think. I could be suffering from Phantom Menace Syndrome though.

When I told Lara I was the world record holder in Back to the Future she replied “Wow, that’s awesome!”. And if only they had a world record for greatest magnitude of sarcasm in one sentence, then the Stewart family would have two world record holders.

I got Life from the library. It was Alien without the suspense. Gravity without the space realism (and surrealism). And Mission to Mars without frozen Tim Robins. But I knew going in that at least I’d get to keep my eyes fixed on Jake Gylenhunk for 2 hours. All in all it was 10 times better than I expected. I give it a 2.5/10.

Speaking of bttf, I showed the kids the tril this weekend. They loved it, but now here come all the time travel plot hole questions. Like “how come he only went back 10 minutes early? Why not 10 days early?” or the classic “What are the odds the same sperm fertilized the same egg three times in a row?” . . . Fun explaining that one to a 5-year-old.

Speaking of introducing the kids to great cinema. Jonah and I watched Unbreakable this weekend too. I’m not sure if I ever realized that Samuel L’s introduction gives away the big spoiler . . . or at least hints at it. Awesome! I can’t wait for Unbreakable 2 as part of the new shamaverse.

I didn’t realize there was a genre of space ship/drunk crop duster pilot movies but I’d have to say that “The Space Between” is easily the 2nd best movie of all time in that particular sub-genre.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Hey look Leedog and Adam. They did a DWM!!!

Why haven’t I heard of this movie? From the cover, it’s clearly a hilarious romp starring Eddie Griffin.

In honor of Em’s birthday, Jonah and I watched 6th Sense. I’d forgotten how great it was. I told Jonah it was the best twist ever, even better than Planet or Psycho. Then he spent the rest of the weekend begging me to tell him the twist in Psycho. But I stood my ground. That level of spoiler would be grounds for child abuse. #mnightshamalamadingdong

I bought this for one reason and one reason only . . . it was 5 dollars.

#countdownto2012 Facebook robots invent secret verbal language that only they know.

Isaiah asked me if Murdoc is in season 1 of MacGyver. I quickly said no. He calmly said, “you are correct”. He was testing me. I’ve never been so proud.

In the words of Will Smith: “I have got to get me one of these”


And finally . . .

One more for good measure. In honor of TW . . .

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Baby Steps

Constewshus say, after long time out of game, keep eye on pitch count on first appearance back on mound

Took me 10 years to admit to myself that budlight is better than miller lite.  30 years to admit that Empire better than Star Wars

Delorean time machines, flying freddy krugers, and my second favorite book of all time.  I'm all in.  #readyplayerone

Neil DeGrass Tyson was on Adam Carrolla. He said “cement” when he meant “concrete”. What an idiot!

Haha, it was a picture of a baby!    #runningman

Strangerthings part 2 doesn't look as good as the first one but sean astin martin and that authentic ghostbuster trap replica is enough for me

Me and leedog are camping out in September at Target to get an snes classic. Who’s with us? #ihatenintendo

#CountdownTo2012 I just ordered my eclipse glasses on #thinkgeek

#TeeOfTheWeek #Homecoming

#HaikuByStu #2049
***When Sean is pretty
***Beware of this sly Miss Young.
***Robot or man, man.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Rushed Vintage Corn Dog

Nothing beats the dog food aisle

Happy half-dollar corndog day. Corn dogs for three meals is too much. I think I’ll go somewhere else for din din.

In the past few weeks I just binge heard all 85 “Go Bayside” podcasts. Each one is an in-depth hour long review of each epp. I’m so sad it’s over. All other podcasts have no flavor to me anymore.

I’m going to Green Bay this spring. I can’t decide if I should fly from KCI directly to Green Bay because if I instead fly to Milwaukee and drive the rest of the way then I can visit Bronze Fonz.

So who is  The Last Jedi? Cuz if they say it’s the princess, then I’m saying too soon bruh

Jason Bateman got 8 votes in the student body presidential election at Bayside High in 1989

Holy cow, has anyone else seen the Switch super bowl commercial that came out today? I guess I’ll be camping out at Walmart again.

Speaking of camping out with my fine feathered friends from Hyrule, I can’t stop playing my NES classic, ever since I finally found one last week.

I just watched Pawn Sacrifice starring Tobey MacGuire . . . best chess movie I think I’ve ever seen.

*** We needed two things
*** Zack Morris and Nintendo

*** It was simpler times