Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Plastic Straw Poll

I just now “got the joke” about them wild and crazy elephant bones.

I have been trashing weezer non-stop for two months with utter disgust. But in the end they wore me down and I bought Africa on iTunes.

I introduced the boys to Spaceballs. They laughed the whole way through. For me it’s the best Mel Brooks movie, but I was also the right age for this one when it came out, so it could be nostalgia talking. John Candy is great as always but Rick Moranis really steals the show. He is so good. Think back on all of his great roles such as Ghostbusters. No one on earth can do what he does. My favorite scene is either the one where Michael Winslow’s voice still sounds like he’s talking through a distorted PA system or the scene where the grizzly bear tiptoes through the catwalk so no one notices he is taking the last escape pod. . . . ooh ooh or the scene where the droid’s stunt double shrugs in annoyance but the actor does it in such a perfectly non-droid-like manner.

Sinbad is only two years younger than Scott Bakula yet at age 35 he was supposed to be a believable college football player in Necessary Roughness. That’s not even a believable age for an NFL player.

. . . unless you’ve sold your soul to the devil in order to prolong your mediocre career in order to make people think you are the GOAT.

Finally I know it when I misspell dessert because ios shows me a picture of a camel.

I’m just now realizing that I am the same age as Scott Bakula when he starred in Necessary Roughness #FeelingOld

Speaking of old… Tom Cruise just did the cliché “dangle from helicopter skids” bit, as we all know. But did you know that he is one year older than Wilford Brimly when he starred in Cocoon.

Just as a reminder, the plot of Cocoon was that the main characters are so old they will die any minute.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Oh Thank Heaven

In Black Panther when they ask the audience if there are any challengers, I kept waiting for Tommy Davidson from Ace Ventura 2 to arrive inside’s someone’s backpack. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.

Every time I watch the fugitive, I wonder how the main character got that scar on his chin.

Yes I was slain for the good of the universe by you know who.

The guy they picked to play Freddie Mercury looks more like Freddie Mercury than Freddie Mercury.

Jonah was asking me why Stairway to Heaven was so popular and I told him because the song really takes its time getting to the good part, sort of leaving you on the edge of your seat in anticipation. Then he replied, “Oh, sort of like the principle of cinematography first popularized by Stephen Spielberg whereby you increase the tension and suspense by never ‘showing them the shark’.” …. While the kid’s got a lot to learn and he wasn’t entirely correct in his analysis, I was never so proud.

The tom cruise running montage YouTube video is 18 minutes long.

I don’t lick 9-volt batteries because I don’t want to get the germs from the previous person that licked it.

Since we may not ever get a Friday Part 13, let’s go ahead and crown “Never Hike Alone” as the best in the 13-Volume franchise. Seriously, it’s good guys, check it out. It’s free. . . .Why are your still here?

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Let's Play Some Basketball

Haha. I was just remembering when we used to climb the rope in gym class. There we were suspended 30’ above the hardwood, Mr. Turner would place a quarter inch thick pad on the floor to “save” a kid if they ever fell. The pad was four feet wide at the most. I can picture Mr. Turner at the court proceedings: “I put padding down, what else do you people want from me!”.

Cloverfield 3 was the bomb. Can’t wait for part 4 this summer. I heard the English gal from Orient Express is going to be in part 5. #LastJedi

#IHadADream one night a few weeks ago. It was so horrible I can’t bear reliving the details. I was so glad when I woke from it. It just so happened that the nightmare was on the same night of the Alex Smith trade. When I saw the bad news on sportscenter in the morning I was wishing I was back in the dream. #RedHumpday

I was downloading a 17 megabyte file and I remarked about how I was fortunate that “it was a small file so I wouldn’t have to wait long” . . . so that made me recall a classic leedog story from high school which I was going to add as an item in this week’s newsletter but then I realized it was such a funny story, I probably already told it in a previous weekly. So I went to the archives and found it. Three years ago. Click the link for the whole issue, it was a good one. Enjoy.

Do you remember when you’d tune in to one of your favorite shows like say MacGyver, and you were all excited for a full new episode but something would happen at the beginning of the episode that would make MacGyver remember a previous episode then they’d jump cut to a clip and about 5 seconds into the clip your all like “aw man it’s one of THESE episodes”. Despicable.

So I bought this peanut butter that only has one ingredient “Peanuts”. I took the first bite and I couldn’t believe it. It doesn’t taste like peanut butter, it tastes exactly like peanuts! There should be a warning on the label. Despicable.

I saw the killer from the Movie “Urban Legends” walking down the street yesterday.

Seriously, produce some new content MacGyver! We’re only talking once a week. Geesh.

Stew Year’s Resolution: I’m only listening to pod casts that suck. Now I can listen at work and not worry about being distracted by the content of the pod cast. Just yesterday I found a really terrible one, it’s great!