Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Machete Order

This week’s issue of Humpday Hoopla is not very good. I’m totally mailing it in. But it’s been a while, so I thought we needed one. (Sorry to break the 4th wall).

I like to set the bar low.

What happened to November? #amiright

Jonah said, “I watched the beginning of Rocky IV, Uncle Paulie gets a pet robot . . . spoiler alert.”

I can’t believe the #Chiefs are going to win the super bowl in the same year the #Royals took home the series. I told Jason it’s like the time Utah had the first overall pick in Football and Basketball . . . oh snap that was Alex Smith . . . It was meant to be.

Lundberg surveyed her

#FlashbackTo1996 Adam rolled his desk chair over his Tomb Raider CD-ROM disc and cracked it in half. Then he returned it to the store citing: disc defective due to giant crack.
Sometimes I just NEED a serving of Cheetos.

#CountdownTo2012 The biggest movie event in history is here. It’s going to be spectacle like nothing else. Ever. #TheForceAwakens

Did you ever think that everyone in a galaxy far far away might actually be at a much different scale than us. A womp rat is said to be a little bigger than two meters, but maybe a meter is one astronomical unit to us. Which would make Darth Vader, like, I don’t know, 100 feet tall! (I’m no mathematician).  Or maybe a womp rat is like two angstroms, and therefore BB-8 might be a nano-bot if he were on earth. Maybe they’ve traveled here, but we can’t see them. Maybe calling a droid a bot is an insult to them. BB’s all like, “you can’t call me the B-word, only R2 and 3P can call me a bot.” And I’m all like, “It’s cool, I’ve got friends that are droids.”  . . . you just don’t go there.

#IHadADream it was mayfly season. The bathroom window had been left open. A whole bunch of mayflies came into the bathroom. It reminded me of one year prior, when I collected all the mayflies that flew into the bathroom and I fried them up in the skillet with butter and ate them for dinner. My dream was a lot grosser than it sounds. It so grossed me out, that when I finally awoke from the nightmare, I felt physically nauseous for the entire morning.

*** wise vulcan once said
*** logic is the beginning
*** not end, of wisdom

#FirstWorldProblems #FWP