Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Uber Deflated

Oh snap, too many movies to review:

#SafetyNotGuaranteed was great. Fist raise at the end was a classic end of the movie #lol ranking up there with the beer can throw in Whole Nine.

#Predestination had my head exploding twice. #EthanHawk was his usual 7.5 out of 10. And look out for #SarahSnook

#Avengers2 was no better than I’d thought it’d be.

#Nightcrawler was good. Speaking of consistent, #JakeGyllenhunk was his usual 8.5 out of 10. But it was no #Prisoners

Loved the #PepperSprayBurrito guy in #SafetyNotGuaranteed

Seriously, buy stock now in #SarahSnook. Last time I said that was after seeing #shaileneWoodley in #TheDescendents

#Avengers2 was great. But not as good as the first. But that’s like saying the #LastSupper wasn’t as good as the #MonaLisa

Get your ess together Leonardo

The Italian, not Jack the Wisconsinite.

The Italian, not the New Yorker

Oh snap, I just realized #AubreyPlaza really did lose her mom to chocolate milk. #SafetyNotGuaranteed

How many times can one head explode.

. . . at least once more . . . This Christmas . . . #ChewyWereHome (is “were” the proper hashtag for “we’re”?)

It started with Nicholson, perhaps the actor of a generation portraying the Clown Prince of Crime better than probably anyone thought was possible. Then someone not only topped that, but created arguably the most terrifying movie villain of all time. And now #JarodLeto may have topped them all.

#JarodLeto went from teen heart throb in My So-Called Life to the white guy with corn rows in Panic Room to wait, what? Oscar winner . . . to now this

The premise of the Chicken and gravy taco is so promising. But ultimately if the biscuit tastes like a frozen microwaved piece of cardboard, it’s no good. Stick with breakfast burritos and crunch wraps #TacoBell

#CountdownTo2012 Too many to list . . . #Listeria . . . #Baltimore . .  . #BlueBell

Haha, get it? List – Listeria <<<blank expression>>>

#TeeOfTheWeek #Tow

I know one thing, watching #TheHobbit sure gets me to #Walgreens like a mofo

Every few years it suddenly hits me. The phrase “Magic Nose Goblins” and just how funny it is.

#IHadADream Noura had a dream that William Shatner came to do a comedy show and I went backstage during intermission because he and I are friends and I got to stay there and play with this little black girl who he calls his granddaughter, but she told me that she was his granddaughters friend and one day he said he liked her more. Now he doesn't speak to his real granddot. Well then after the show, he gave me $37,000 to help pay off my student loans and to come to Kenya with him and compete in some international swimming meet. But neither of us know how to swim, so the money would also cover training. I woke up at the point where we were training in Kenya, and they were using chocolate chips as forms of training motivation. My trainer was using Andes Mints chocolate chips.

#HaikuByStu #2015
*** Life gives lemons.  Make
*** 1.21 Jiggawatts
*** Thanks Mr. Fusion

#FirstWorldProblems #FWP

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