1.09

 

Hastings is closing.  I’m a 20 year satisfied customer L

 

Red cans are in stores.

 

Kstate leads all local teams in RPI, including 3-loss KU and MU by 20 spots.

 

Nevermind about Gnarles, he’s staying.  I can’t blame Pete “Christmas” Carol this time.  I guess we’ll take RG|||

 

The new fries at BK are the bomb in phantoms yo!  They rival the new fries at Long Johns.  Don’t forget the ranch, BK has the best ranch this side of the rio kaw.

 

Forbes Magazine listed the top 5 most efficient football programs per win:

-K-State $1.08M/win ($10.8M Budget, 10 wins)

-Cinn $1.23M/win

-OSU (Pokes not Pecans or woodchucks) $1.25M/win

-Stan $1.4M/win

-WVU $1.47M/win

 

BTW:  Texas was the most profitable with $70M net.

1.08

 

Worst over-rated movie line in the history of “zeros and ones”(film):  “How do you like them apples?”.  It sucks because he had to set up the punch line, that’s lazy comedy right there.  Those talentless fools are going to be one and done.  They couldn’t even win “best picture” in ’98, what other pieces of crap were they going up against, “Chocalot” with Johnny Dep or “Memiors of a gaysha”.   JD, now there’s a guy who’s sole goal is to win “best actor”, he tries to force it so hard.  Hey 21 jump street, it aint gonna work, you gotta stop thinking about it, or it will never come, just look at Dan Marino or Doug Flutie.

 

www.jockey.com/tebow

 

Headlines in time:  “Kim Jung ||| dead”  

 

I hear it every year, but every year I adjust the knob on the radio, as if static has caused me to misunderstand:  A big 10 school, a big boy of one of the six power conferences has never been to “the grand ball in the 3^rd month of the year”.

 

Headlines in time:  “KC kicks Packers dairy-air, first loss in 364 days………….Get it?…dairy……haha,LOL,smiley face”

 

Speaking of planet of the apes, they took the national title this year!  And the Bods signal caller finished a close runner-up in the D2 Heisman (NOT mighty ducks: part II)

1.07

 

The ladder, not the farmer.

 

Trailer is out for MIB^3, it’s got the chap from No Country

 

mist alda jafu jegr typj

 

Have you ever heard of a team going 8-1 in games decided by 7 or less.

 

Kate Blanchet is either really good or really bad.

 

I think Michael Keaton is the male counterpart.

 

Virginia Tech fans have bought  5000 tickets to the sugar bowl! (source: Fundis)

 

Packer Green is my 8^th favorite shade of green in the NFL.

Seahawks B

Dolphins

Jaguars

Eagles

Seahawks A

Jets

Jello

Packers

1.06

 

In the history of the BCS, K-State has finished the regular season in the BCS top 10, five times (not counting the year they won the championship).  Of those five years, K-State was invited to a total of zero BCS bowl games.  Five Snubs, no invites.

 

Desperate much?  The KU fans are calling for Glenn Mason.

 

Did you hear the one about the guy who went jogging wearing a special mask that simulates high-elevation, thin mountain air and a special suit that holds weights.  And he decided to drop something off at the post office during his run.  Next thing you know, a postal employee called 911 stating that a man frantically ran to the post office with a gas mask and body armor trying to shove a suspicious oversized package into a mail box.  The bomb squad showed up and it was all on the news and a friend of the dude called him up and was like “Did you go running today with your strange training gear?” and the dude was like “yeah, why?”

 

Has anyone outside of Wisconsin heard of a Shrinky dink?  Come on, that can’t be a real thing!  Apparently it’s a safe and healthy kids game involving the burning of tires in the kitchen oven.

 

Hey KU, get a clue, get a fedora.

 

Thanks Frank.  Vanderbilts is the official boot outfitter of the K-State basketball team.

 

Gnarles Barkley in KC.  They are going to go another direction this time and try a USC QB.

 

Is store-bought turkey dressing the only food in the world that tastes better than made-from-scratch?

1.05

 

Just when I think the big east couldn’t be any dumber……  Louie-ville is now telling football recruits that they will be playing in the big 12.

 

Wal-mart has a pingpong table for $90.

 

I watched twilight for the first time.  You know, it’s not too bad.  I’m not into the action sequences or violence, but I’m captivated by the romantic love story.  L

 

Walmart tried to charge me $120 to put new single-vision lenses in my old glasses (and that’s with a 20% discount for having bluecross medical).   I didn’t even pay that much for the glasses to begin with!  Is that a good deal?  Does anyone want to occupy the walmart vision center with me?  Only during off-hours of course, I wouldn’t want to make any sort of scene.

 

I think that stupid vanilla diet barks gave me a tooth ache on Monday.  I wish I had a giant hamster bottle of vanilla diet barks at my desk.

KU lost to Washington State for Mike Leach (yes, the guy who locks up kids in hot tool sheds for a whole day when they are being bad).  I can’t even tell you what Wash. St. mascot is?   I think it’s maybe a dog or a cat.   Hahahaha KU

1.04, Turkeyday Tuesday

 

They should make a 5^th food group for roasted marshmallow sauce (6^th if you count Chick Filet McNuggets)

 

Hey Calvin Kline:    One—More—Year………..…. One—More—Year…………... One—More—Year….

 

I can’t take credit for this:  “Blill Snyder makes $150K per win, Turner Gill makes $1 million per win”

 

6 out of 7 computer polls have K-State ranked 5^th in the world!!!!!!!!! So it only makes sense that the 2 human polls have us 16^th

 

On Sunday, Jordy reminded me (twice) how much he likes Akeep Talib

 

Before Tyler Palco’s first career start he was asked about the patriot’s D that has allowed over 300 pass yards per game this year, to which he responded “Stats are ‘for the birds’ “, making Tyler Palco the first person (besides my mom) since the Woodrow Wilson administration to use the phrase “for the birds”

 

The goons are busy….now they are recalling the Basehor mayor.

1.03

 

Total Recall, starring:  you name it, Collin Ferrel, Kate beckingsill, ethan Hawk, Jessica Beal, and the Chinese guy from white castle!!!

 

I can’t stop thinking about marsh mellow sauce L

 

LOL, the tide will roll into mizzou once every 12 years!

 

Will we….

Will we someday have streets named “W” in honor of the 43^rd prez?  Much like we have a “Quincy” Street.  It’s precedential.

 

What if….

We all know how “gate” has new meaning.  Stare-gate for example, which we all know as the time I caught Jeff creepily staring at me through my bedroom window as I awoke from slumber.  What if Watergate was called Waterfont, or Watergables?  Or better yet, what if the scandal of the millennium, had just been referred to as “the scandal” or “the presidential investigation”?

 

Is Aussie pronounced Auzzie?  Stupid 3^rd world countries, It’s not spring time, dummies!!!

1.02

 

Joe-Pa, (PA) is gone.  Hopefully he will rot in Jail for the rest of his days (not many days). L

Issue #1

 

Morgan Town is 500 miles from 1/2 of the U.S. population.

 

Mr. Luck is the A.D. at Morganton.

 

American Pie, Part 4.  The whole cast is back, including Allyson Hanagan (the least known star of the first few films).  Note, this is not actually the 4^th AP, they made 8 or 9 “straight to vids”

 

Pathetic:  The big east invited 6 mid-majors yesterday.

 

1/10 big 12 teams serves beer at games.